Sad times in SusanLand

Okay so, you'd think that if you marry someone from the US (especially if you're Canadian)that you'd legally be aloud to live in the same country as him (meaning the US) and it wouldn't be such a problem getting your status in the country. Contrary to everyone's belief, it isn't so. In fact, I feel like I'm a foreigner that has had a fraudulent marriage to someone just to get a green card. I might as well be one, cause that is how the US immigration is treating the situation.

So when Dan got his great job opportunity to work down here and we decided that we were going to persue it, we decided not to wait the very long process (3-9months) of waiting for a VISA to come available so that I could come to the states to live with my husband. I came across legally as a visitor and I had 6 months to stay here as a visitor no questions asked. I mean deciding to live with my husband didn't seem like an insane thing to want to do. Afterall that was the reason we got married, to stay with eachother for eternity, how silly of me to want to be with him at all times and in all places. When Dan had talked to someone at immigration (on the phone mind you) he was answered all of his questions concerning the legality of what we were doing. He was informed that I could come across legally as a visitor and then petition with all the right paperwork to adjust my status as visitor to legal alien (which is the status I have now) and eventually to permanent resident. Everything was going according to how the immigration informant had explained. We filed all the right paperwork, (paid our $800)I got my work permit, and I got my fingerprints taken, then we had an appointment for an interview with immigration and we thought, "Great! This should be the last thing and then we're finished". Boy were we in for the shocker of the century.

Our interviewer told us that because I had entered the country as a visitor, BUT with intention to stay, that it was actually illegal. She then informed us that we had to file another piece of paperwork (and $250 more) to pretty much "applogize" for what we had done and also to explain the "hardship" is we were separated. SEPARATED? What the.....

It kinda shocked me what she had said, but she made it seem so "standard proceedure" and she wasn't that concerned about it. She told us that once we file that, it shouldn't take more than 2 months to get my VISA. We left her office feeling kinda weird, yet okay.

I hadn't even thought another moment about the "Hardship Petition". To me it was easy and quite self explanitory that we were in love and why would we want to be separated. Plus the fact that we're trying so hard to concieve a child, not only that, but the added stress about immigration, doesn't help our bodies to contribute to the factor. The list could go on and on about hardships. But like I said we weren't worried about it. Or at least one of us want'.

Apperently Dan, being the smart intelligent man that he is, started to research cases like ours on the web. And what he found was not good news at all. In fact what he found out, was that what we had done was very bad, and we didn't even know it. So bad that he talked to an immigration lawyer about it, and they said that whomever we had talked to on the phone at immigration was very wrong, (now I wished that we had their name cause they should be fired!) and what we had actually done was severe VISA fraud and I could risk deportation and/or be banned from the US for several months to who knows how long and/ or jail time.

This news was so horrifying that my own husband couldn't even tell me, because he didn't want it ruin our weekend with our good friends. The moment our friends had left he told me everything. I was in total shock. All I could do was cry! It was more like sobbing. My heart felt like it had been ripped to shreds and partially taken from my chest.The part that was left ached for my love, my husband to do something about it. Out of all the times he's helped my heart to heal over the past year and a half that I've known him, this time he could do nothing. There was nothing we could do, but wait now until Thursday when we had an appointment with this immigration specialist lawyer. But everyday has been torture to my soul. All of the "what if's" keep going through my mind. Just thinking about it brings tears instantly to my eyes and that's not even thinking the worst. Thinking the worst brings me into a state of depression, until I pray for comfort or tell myself to, "be strong Susan!"

I have hope though. And I know that this is a test of faith. Something that I rarely struggle with, but this time, with the situation so sever, I just don't have enough faith. but I have been so blessed to have wonderful friends and family who have loved and supported us though all of our trials......and now this one. To all of you who are praying and fasting for us at this trying time, we thank you from the bottoms of our hearts. We feel your love and support and we hope that we can fully trust in the Lord to know what he is doing for us.

I will try not to cry myself to sleep this night. No. This night I will be strong, for I have the strength of so many to hold me up. I can feel your loving arms around me, surrounding me. I thank you,..........we thank you. I hope I will have good news tomorrow.